If there is anything in the world that gives me anxiety, It is definitely living in High School 7 hours and 20 minutes a day five days a week. That’s 36 hours and 40 minutes a week of being around a bunch of loud and talkative teenagers my age every day during the week. One word that describes this for me is “headache”! So I am going to give you the down-right truths that I run into daily:
In between classes, we have 5 minutes to get to our next class. For me, it feels like 10 minutes. A bunch of kids talking and being loud going to their next class is extremely loud for someone who has APD like me! I would say this scenario would be 10 times louder for someone with APD than looking at someone without APD. You’re probably saying, “Just block out all the noise!” Um, how?! It’s impossible to ignore sounds for me. I can hear everything, but I cannot make sense of what is being heard. It sounds like all those noise makers at the 2010 World Cup - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oFMolQckDE&NR=1 – There is no way you can pick out one of the horns’ specific noises. If you think I’m exaggerating about the horns by the way, I’m not at all kidding. The title does say TRUTHS in it. Although, once I enter my classroom it dies down tremendously but there are still a few horns in the room at all times. Whenever I talk to my guidance counselor, she closes the door because there is a lot of noise going on outside of her office. Also, after school if I need to talk to one of my teachers, I try to close the door. So my point here is hallways are very loud for me. I am so glad we have off campus lunch at my school!
Trying to have one-on-one hallway conversations have always been hard for me to understand:
Me- *noise* Hey Ky!
Ky- *noise* Hey! How are you?
Me- *noise* I have math next, what do you have?
Ky- *noise*Ugh, I asked you how are you? But that works too! I have English. Gotta go see you later *smile*
Me- What? Okay! Bye..
A lot of times I answer wrong. It’s embarrassing and I feel kind of dumb, but hey… I really can’t help it, which is also frustrating for me. It’s really hard to make eye contact when talking to people in the halls...I don’t want to run into anyone while walking! Eye contact is very important for me and being able to see their lips. I’ve kind of figured out how the read lips. If the teacher or my friend are standing still and I can see their lips and eyes, it makes a huge difference.
Group hallway conversations on the other hand just don’t work for me. I always stand outside of the “circle” and try hard to say something right or ask something, but that doesn’t work all the time. I pace from one part of the circle to the other trying to enter the conversation. I get ignored usually, or they will say “What?” and I’ll repeat but while I’m repeating they’re talking to someone else already. When I am the one saying “Never mind” It’s frustrating, but when someone else is telling me “Never mind” I just get so annoyed and angry inside. I feel like when other people say, “What?” They always repeat for them, but since I’m always asking I get ignored more. That’s why it makes me mad. So you can just forget group hallway conversations...They don’t work. Too much background noise, too many people trying to talk at once.
Truth be told, I just don’t like the hallways. I try to get out of them as fast as I possibly can. I got to say, the quietest places in school are the library, my counselors office, and classrooms -- in that order. Trying to find those quiet places are impossible in my school.
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