-----
I’ve always had a hard time in echoey locations. I played a lot of basketball in my life, and never liked the echo feeling I hear, and the confusion from echoey spots like basketball and yoga for a few reasons.
First, echoey areas are always LOUD! For anyone it is loud, but everything is amplified for me and other people with APD! My ears ring a lot in these types of settings because it’s so loud. Then, if my ears ring, I feel a little anxious just like anything that bothers me, but obviously I don’t act out about it or anything. Think about it though... My basketball tournaments, where there’s more than one game going on in the same gym, can get SUPER echoey. Talk about a headache. Coaches screaming, fans screaming, four or five basketballs bouncing, shoes squeaking on the “squeaky” clean basketball courts, and teammates getting excited all at the same time all in the same location is equivalent to L-O-U-D, LOUD! In the yoga setting it wasn’t screeching loud because let’s be honest... It’s yoga.
I did have a hard time following the yoga instructor though (I’m going to call her “Kim” for the sake of referring to her as a short name rather than the long name “yoga instructor” haha). The constant breaking and repeating of words caused by the bouncing off the walls in the small yoga gym on top of new words, after the words I am still trying to process, are coming at me are both hard to process. (Does that make sense?) It took me a few moments more to process what she had to say than everyone else as I saw everyone going into the pose faster. I could catch myself and understand in the moment that I was processing the information a little later than when Kim spoke the instructions. It was kind of neat to be able to pick up on when I was able to process it. I could literally feel myself process the information slower.
With that said, processing the chaotic sounds and putting them together is not easy, and sometimes I’m not able to put them together in especially echoey spots. It’s like a bunch of dust particles floating in the air and trying to catch it and keep it in your hand. Very hard. It may stay in your hand for a split second, but then it’s gone. That’s what happens with me. I’m able to put the sounds together, but then it falls apart quickly like a puzzle does. And when that happens I do not feel like putting the a thousand piece puzzle back together, and the echo’s I hear do not at all make my decision change! Echoes just don’t help and only make things worse. I just want to hear/process words once, and would love it if it wouldn’t overlap because my whole world is an overlapping echo. That’s what I hear on a daily basis in my head -- echoes. When there’s actually an echo, it’s two times the echo. It’s like I’m processing things out loud with the echo in the air, and in my head and can’t choose which one to listen to. So Kim’s instructions were hard because it was all verbal, but I was able to look up to see what she was doing to see it visually. In basketball though it was all verbal. I’d hear instructions, mainly yelling from the sidelines from my coach with no visual to put it with. I’d literally be dribbling the ball and say “What!?” or look at them with a puzzled look. Don’t get me wrong, I love basketball but it was hard with my APD. (That is not why I stopped playing to be clear. I stopped because I loved field hockey more!)
-----
That was a longer blog than expected, but wanted to explain it to the best of my ability! Hopefully you understood a little glimpse into my world! As always, I love your questions!
This is such a timely blog post! My daughter was recently diagnosed with APD, though I was pretty sure that's what was going on for a very long time already so it was no big surprise. Our big concern was classwork, but recently I realized how difficult it must be in the gym! Gees!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, and I want to share it with my daughter but to be honest I haven't TOLD her what all those tests were about, and what the results were. She is 10. She is having a very difficult time, not so much with schoolwork as it is still very visually-oriented and she does very well with that, but socially. She just can't handle group situations. She misses so much of what is said, and I'm guessing the other kids think she just seems "dumb." She is in a new school and it has been going well but there are hints that it is about to turn sour. I don't know whether explaining to her WHY it is so difficult will be helpful or just another blow to her confidence.
I guess my question is how was APD explained to you? If you were a mom of a kid with APD, how would you explain it? Do you think at the age of 10 knowing would be helpful? Or just sad? Or even meaningless? And could she use the information to help her socially, or might she just give up??
I appreciate your time... please keep blogging!
I'm SO glad you found this helpful! Yes, gyms are very echoey, and is very difficult to try and listen in.
ReplyDeleteHer age, I struggled socially a lot too. And to this day I miss a lot that is said like your daughter does. I feel/felt that way, about that other kids thinking I was "dumb".
Your first question: I'm going to direct you to this blog of mine, http://apdwarrior17.blogspot.com/2011/11/real-questions-asked-by-real-parents.html
A parent who has a boy in 3rd grade asked a question about how to explain APD without "freaking" him out. It's the second one from the bottom
Second question: The blog above will also answer this a little. Explain in in as many ways as possible! And use analogy. Analogy helps me a ton. But I highly recommend you look at that blog!
Third question: YES! I think it would be extremely helpful at any age to know. For me, I was relieved. SO relieved. Relieved that I would recieve extra help from school so I don't have to try and understand things on my own like other students do. If I had APD and never knew it, I would be pretty upset. I WISH I knew I had APD when I was 10. She should be blessed to find out. I also believe it's extremely important to have the rights to know yourself. Knowing yourself and understanding yourself is very important. I think that being told at the age of 10 will help her in the long run because later in life, she will be able to figure herself out sooner than she would if she found out at age 14. I highly encourage you to let her know. But make sure you read that question on the blog I gave you the link to above. APD does mean something. It explains to someone who they are and what makes them THEM.
Socially is a different story. I hid it from my friends up until I started feeling confident in my friends' trust and personality. You really can't let other peoples thoughts about you affect you. You are always going to be you no matter what that is. Sometimes they're bad things, and sometimes they're good.
I can promise you that It will take you daughter time to feel comfortable with her APD, but I can also promise you that her knowing of her learning disability will be very helpful information about herself for her.
Feel free to let me know if you have any more questions! You can email me, too :) I hope this helped!
-Anna