Wow! It really has been forever since I had blogged last. My computer unexpectedly totally broke! I was without my own personal computer for a long time! It was hard, but I now have brand new FREE computer! Not complaining. Apparently there were other people with the same problem, and those people bought it around the same time as me.. So the first thing I decided to do on my computer is write this blog, so I'll get to the point!
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So there is a few questions that I am constantly asking myself...
"Should I tell (_insert friends name here_) about my APD?" "When should I?" I'm sure I am not the only one asking these questions. Now that I am surrounded by new friends, and new people here in college it is a fair question to be asking. It's also a question that has been on my mind because of certain situations I've been in related to my APD.
There are always these questions I ask myself before I decide to tell someone... Can I trust them? Will they not like me anymore after I tell them? Will they exclude me from activities? Will they use this against me? Will they even understand what APD is after I tell them? I think these questions are important to keep in mind before telling a friend.
All through high school, I pretty much kept my APD to myself unless I've known them for many years and knew they would not judge me. I eventually started posting these blogs to my Facebook page. I am sure kids from my school would read some of my blogs. Everything turned out fine when I started posting them. I am sure kids also speculated when I would leave the class to take my tests somewhere else.
I am battling telling my team about my APD, just because I don't know them that well yet. I also am cautious about telling a group, because if you tell a group they could easily talk amongst themselves about it or sometimes gang up. Now this has never happened directly, but I'm sure indirectly there were some questions they would be asking like, "Should we invite her?" "Should we repeat what we just said so she understands?" I feel like also if a whole group knows about it, my "wait what?" questions would be more likely to be ignored in a certain social settings.
Sometimes I think.... By telling them, maybe they will be more understanding, and understand then why I always "hear" differently, and ask a lot of questions.
But in reality, I won't know until I actually spill the beans. There is a 50/50 chance of it going the way I would want it to go. Stuff like this is hard to judge because people handle this topic differently. Some may be fine with it or kind of "whatever" about it. Some may be totally freaked out. Some may be happy I told them so they understand me better. Some may feel uncomfortable about it. It just depends on the person. I don't think I will tell the whole group at once if I decide to... I will only tell one or two of them, but I'm sure a few of them will stumble upon this blog, too which is good :-)
So this is my advice to all of you...
1. Make sure you can trust them with this information -- This includes making sure they do not have a big mouth and tell the whole world about what you have. APD can be interpreted very very differently especially if someone has know knowledge about it. A rumor like this could go very wrong in my opinion.
I've only told three of my friends here in college. I know they understand because they also have a learning disability so they can relate. Actually, one of them has Auditory Processing Disorder! I was SO excited to finally meet someone with the same learning disability as me!
2. Try not to tell a whole group of friends all at once about your learning disability. -- If there is one person in that group that you feel comfortable with telling, tell that friend when it is just the two of you. This way, when you are with the whole group, the friend that you told knows, so he/she might stick up for you and help you out. This avoids the whole group talking amongst themselves about it, but lets one person aware of your social struggles.
4. When you do tell someone, don't scare them. Bring it up when it comes up in conversation.
So I know your friend won't be talking about APD. That's not what I mean. But don't randomly be like, "Hey guess what? I have APD" This might scare them or make them feel uncomfortable about it. Try to ease it into your conversation with a friend. Maybe you two are talking about secrets, or maybe you are having a heart-to-heart conversation. This mood and time would be perfect. Here's a good way to start telling someone about your learning disability or any information you might have to tell: "So I've been meaning to tell you something because I trust you." This way they understand that you are relying on their trust, and it makes them feel good that you can trust them. This also indicates that you don't want it to be shared with others.
5. Don't expect them to understand everything about APD. This is probably the most important advice to remember. There is a lot that goes in to APD, In reality the only person who really understands APD is going to be you. You are the only one who knows what it is truly like and what is hard. Try not to rely on them to understand what it means. Just make sure they are there for you when you are having a hard time and need a friend.
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Telling a friend about your learning disability can be a hard thing to do. If they are a true friend though, they will try to understand and be there for you when things get tough. I hope you found this blog helpful to you! As always, do not hesitate to ask any questions or comment!
Friday, November 15, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
College: Week One
In my blog before this, I was talking about all of the things going through my head about college. I felt excited, scared, and relieved. The scared feelings I am not worrying about anymore though! I am doing very well at school! So tonight's blog is about how I have been doing with everything so far.
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Field hockey. Field hockey is going very well. I love being a part of the team, I love all my teammates, I love my coaches, and love playing here at Susquehanna. Before I came, I was very worried about pre season and how hard it would be, but it really wasn't that bad. I am getting more comfortable with the team each day little by little.
I do believe my APD is affecting me a lot being on the team, more than I thought it would. I don't really know everyone that well yet, so it's hard to understand what people are saying right now. With my high school team, I knew everyone pretty well so it was easier to pick up what they were saying. This might be a confusing concept to some people, but I feel as if the more comfortable I am with people, the easier it is to understand them. If I don't know people that well, it's harder to anticipate what they are going to say and how or what tone they will speak in. I don't think my APD will be as bad once I get to know everyone better, even my coaches.
Socially. Meeting people in my dorm, and on campus has been such a great experience. It's SO much better than high school socially. No one really judges (yet), everyone hangs out with everyone, and everyone is getting along with one another. In high school, cliques over populated the number of people. There's nothing like that here. You are free to be yourself, and free to be a part of as many clubs and groups as you want. Everyone is so nice. We all wave hello to one another, have friendly conversations, meet and greet one another, and I feel so comfortable.
How my APD is playing in all of this is kind of like how I was explaining earlier... It's hard to understand new people, and I really have to focus a lot more on what people are saying. It's hard to anticipate what people are going to say because I don't know them that well yet. It's hard to follow conversation, and sometimes miss what everyone is doing for lunch or that night because I miss bits and pieces of conversation, but that will always be a challenge for me no matter how well I know them. I can definitely see how my APD is there still. It hasn't gone away, but I am having a great time despite it.
In the classroom. My classes really haven't been that terrible yet. I am taking first level spanish, perspectives, writing and thinking, and intro to society and education. My classes easiest to hardest is this right now: spanish, perspectives, intro to society and education, and then writing and thinking. Spanish and perspectives are really easy. I've already taken spanish, and we are learning the very basics of it. Our homework is super simple and doesn't take much time to complete. Perspectives is a class where my professor can basically teach whatever she wants to teach. Right now she's teaching us stuff like good study skills, how to talk to a professor, things on campus, and student life. It's a fun class so far. My harder classes are intro to society and education and writing and thinking.
Intro to soc. and ed. is hard because there is a lot of information coming at me in that class right now, and it seems a bit over whelming. Also, that's the class I've had the hardest work in, but it wasn't like it was impossible... It just took more thinking. Now my writing and thinking class is beyond my hardest class right now. We are doing a lot of logic thinking and it's very confusing. The answers aren't answers you can memorize and instantly know, it's more that you have to figure it out and puzzle it together.. that's the hardest for me. Also, my professor is a guy and for me male teachers are harder to work with. We all know how women are very open to their emotions, and guys hide emotions. It's hard for me to read people who don't show a lot of emotion. That's one thing I am good at... Reading people. When I am able to read someone it helps me understand them better, but when I can't read someone and how they might feel about something or think about something, it's harder for me to understand them and communicate with them.
I have accommodations in my spanish and intro to education class. I get extended time on tests, a note taker, I am allowed to use a recording device, and preferential seating. I also had these in high school, except have never used a recording device. I am actually using something called a livescribe smartpen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Livescribe). The note taker is something I am impressed with. The learning disability services actually hires a student in my class to take clear and neat notes for me, and I get the notes from the teacher after class since I want it to be confidential. Like how cool is that?? I don't have accommodations in writing and thinking, or perspectives because those classes don't really have any exams and are more writing based classes. I wish I could have gotten accommodations for a note taker in that class and a recorder, but I will probably just have to talk to my professor about that.
Being on my own. I honestly thought I was going to get really home sick. I really like being here and independent. It's almost like being on my own has forced me to get things done more efficiently. I was assigned a research paper on Thursday, and I finished it today (Sunday) and it's not due until Friday! I am so proud of myself and never thought I could do that. I also feel confident I can go talk to my professors with no problem. It was almost like in high school I knew people would help me with this stuff, so I relied too much on other people to help me get my work done, and get help from teachers. But now, it's all up to me and it's been a success so far.
----
All in all, college has been a really positive experience and wouldn't take anything back that has happened so far. I love college!
----
Field hockey. Field hockey is going very well. I love being a part of the team, I love all my teammates, I love my coaches, and love playing here at Susquehanna. Before I came, I was very worried about pre season and how hard it would be, but it really wasn't that bad. I am getting more comfortable with the team each day little by little.
I do believe my APD is affecting me a lot being on the team, more than I thought it would. I don't really know everyone that well yet, so it's hard to understand what people are saying right now. With my high school team, I knew everyone pretty well so it was easier to pick up what they were saying. This might be a confusing concept to some people, but I feel as if the more comfortable I am with people, the easier it is to understand them. If I don't know people that well, it's harder to anticipate what they are going to say and how or what tone they will speak in. I don't think my APD will be as bad once I get to know everyone better, even my coaches.
Socially. Meeting people in my dorm, and on campus has been such a great experience. It's SO much better than high school socially. No one really judges (yet), everyone hangs out with everyone, and everyone is getting along with one another. In high school, cliques over populated the number of people. There's nothing like that here. You are free to be yourself, and free to be a part of as many clubs and groups as you want. Everyone is so nice. We all wave hello to one another, have friendly conversations, meet and greet one another, and I feel so comfortable.
How my APD is playing in all of this is kind of like how I was explaining earlier... It's hard to understand new people, and I really have to focus a lot more on what people are saying. It's hard to anticipate what people are going to say because I don't know them that well yet. It's hard to follow conversation, and sometimes miss what everyone is doing for lunch or that night because I miss bits and pieces of conversation, but that will always be a challenge for me no matter how well I know them. I can definitely see how my APD is there still. It hasn't gone away, but I am having a great time despite it.
In the classroom. My classes really haven't been that terrible yet. I am taking first level spanish, perspectives, writing and thinking, and intro to society and education. My classes easiest to hardest is this right now: spanish, perspectives, intro to society and education, and then writing and thinking. Spanish and perspectives are really easy. I've already taken spanish, and we are learning the very basics of it. Our homework is super simple and doesn't take much time to complete. Perspectives is a class where my professor can basically teach whatever she wants to teach. Right now she's teaching us stuff like good study skills, how to talk to a professor, things on campus, and student life. It's a fun class so far. My harder classes are intro to society and education and writing and thinking.
Intro to soc. and ed. is hard because there is a lot of information coming at me in that class right now, and it seems a bit over whelming. Also, that's the class I've had the hardest work in, but it wasn't like it was impossible... It just took more thinking. Now my writing and thinking class is beyond my hardest class right now. We are doing a lot of logic thinking and it's very confusing. The answers aren't answers you can memorize and instantly know, it's more that you have to figure it out and puzzle it together.. that's the hardest for me. Also, my professor is a guy and for me male teachers are harder to work with. We all know how women are very open to their emotions, and guys hide emotions. It's hard for me to read people who don't show a lot of emotion. That's one thing I am good at... Reading people. When I am able to read someone it helps me understand them better, but when I can't read someone and how they might feel about something or think about something, it's harder for me to understand them and communicate with them.
I have accommodations in my spanish and intro to education class. I get extended time on tests, a note taker, I am allowed to use a recording device, and preferential seating. I also had these in high school, except have never used a recording device. I am actually using something called a livescribe smartpen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Livescribe). The note taker is something I am impressed with. The learning disability services actually hires a student in my class to take clear and neat notes for me, and I get the notes from the teacher after class since I want it to be confidential. Like how cool is that?? I don't have accommodations in writing and thinking, or perspectives because those classes don't really have any exams and are more writing based classes. I wish I could have gotten accommodations for a note taker in that class and a recorder, but I will probably just have to talk to my professor about that.
Being on my own. I honestly thought I was going to get really home sick. I really like being here and independent. It's almost like being on my own has forced me to get things done more efficiently. I was assigned a research paper on Thursday, and I finished it today (Sunday) and it's not due until Friday! I am so proud of myself and never thought I could do that. I also feel confident I can go talk to my professors with no problem. It was almost like in high school I knew people would help me with this stuff, so I relied too much on other people to help me get my work done, and get help from teachers. But now, it's all up to me and it's been a success so far.
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All in all, college has been a really positive experience and wouldn't take anything back that has happened so far. I love college!
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