Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I just wanted to pop in and say thank you. All of you, my readers and fans, give me strength to keep on going. Some times everything feels impossible, but you all give me the confidence to keep going. You all believe in me, and I in turn am able to help you believe in yourself. So thank you for helping me help you! I am blessed for all of you!
-- apdwarrior17
Friday, November 29, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Telling a Friend About Your Learning Disability
Wow! It really has been forever since I had blogged last. My computer unexpectedly totally broke! I was without my own personal computer for a long time! It was hard, but I now have brand new FREE computer! Not complaining. Apparently there were other people with the same problem, and those people bought it around the same time as me.. So the first thing I decided to do on my computer is write this blog, so I'll get to the point!
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So there is a few questions that I am constantly asking myself...
"Should I tell (_insert friends name here_) about my APD?" "When should I?" I'm sure I am not the only one asking these questions. Now that I am surrounded by new friends, and new people here in college it is a fair question to be asking. It's also a question that has been on my mind because of certain situations I've been in related to my APD.
There are always these questions I ask myself before I decide to tell someone... Can I trust them? Will they not like me anymore after I tell them? Will they exclude me from activities? Will they use this against me? Will they even understand what APD is after I tell them? I think these questions are important to keep in mind before telling a friend.
All through high school, I pretty much kept my APD to myself unless I've known them for many years and knew they would not judge me. I eventually started posting these blogs to my Facebook page. I am sure kids from my school would read some of my blogs. Everything turned out fine when I started posting them. I am sure kids also speculated when I would leave the class to take my tests somewhere else.
I am battling telling my team about my APD, just because I don't know them that well yet. I also am cautious about telling a group, because if you tell a group they could easily talk amongst themselves about it or sometimes gang up. Now this has never happened directly, but I'm sure indirectly there were some questions they would be asking like, "Should we invite her?" "Should we repeat what we just said so she understands?" I feel like also if a whole group knows about it, my "wait what?" questions would be more likely to be ignored in a certain social settings.
Sometimes I think.... By telling them, maybe they will be more understanding, and understand then why I always "hear" differently, and ask a lot of questions.
But in reality, I won't know until I actually spill the beans. There is a 50/50 chance of it going the way I would want it to go. Stuff like this is hard to judge because people handle this topic differently. Some may be fine with it or kind of "whatever" about it. Some may be totally freaked out. Some may be happy I told them so they understand me better. Some may feel uncomfortable about it. It just depends on the person. I don't think I will tell the whole group at once if I decide to... I will only tell one or two of them, but I'm sure a few of them will stumble upon this blog, too which is good :-)
So this is my advice to all of you...
1. Make sure you can trust them with this information -- This includes making sure they do not have a big mouth and tell the whole world about what you have. APD can be interpreted very very differently especially if someone has know knowledge about it. A rumor like this could go very wrong in my opinion.
I've only told three of my friends here in college. I know they understand because they also have a learning disability so they can relate. Actually, one of them has Auditory Processing Disorder! I was SO excited to finally meet someone with the same learning disability as me!
2. Try not to tell a whole group of friends all at once about your learning disability. -- If there is one person in that group that you feel comfortable with telling, tell that friend when it is just the two of you. This way, when you are with the whole group, the friend that you told knows, so he/she might stick up for you and help you out. This avoids the whole group talking amongst themselves about it, but lets one person aware of your social struggles.
4. When you do tell someone, don't scare them. Bring it up when it comes up in conversation.
So I know your friend won't be talking about APD. That's not what I mean. But don't randomly be like, "Hey guess what? I have APD" This might scare them or make them feel uncomfortable about it. Try to ease it into your conversation with a friend. Maybe you two are talking about secrets, or maybe you are having a heart-to-heart conversation. This mood and time would be perfect. Here's a good way to start telling someone about your learning disability or any information you might have to tell: "So I've been meaning to tell you something because I trust you." This way they understand that you are relying on their trust, and it makes them feel good that you can trust them. This also indicates that you don't want it to be shared with others.
5. Don't expect them to understand everything about APD. This is probably the most important advice to remember. There is a lot that goes in to APD, In reality the only person who really understands APD is going to be you. You are the only one who knows what it is truly like and what is hard. Try not to rely on them to understand what it means. Just make sure they are there for you when you are having a hard time and need a friend.
---
Telling a friend about your learning disability can be a hard thing to do. If they are a true friend though, they will try to understand and be there for you when things get tough. I hope you found this blog helpful to you! As always, do not hesitate to ask any questions or comment!
---
So there is a few questions that I am constantly asking myself...
"Should I tell (_insert friends name here_) about my APD?" "When should I?" I'm sure I am not the only one asking these questions. Now that I am surrounded by new friends, and new people here in college it is a fair question to be asking. It's also a question that has been on my mind because of certain situations I've been in related to my APD.
There are always these questions I ask myself before I decide to tell someone... Can I trust them? Will they not like me anymore after I tell them? Will they exclude me from activities? Will they use this against me? Will they even understand what APD is after I tell them? I think these questions are important to keep in mind before telling a friend.
All through high school, I pretty much kept my APD to myself unless I've known them for many years and knew they would not judge me. I eventually started posting these blogs to my Facebook page. I am sure kids from my school would read some of my blogs. Everything turned out fine when I started posting them. I am sure kids also speculated when I would leave the class to take my tests somewhere else.
I am battling telling my team about my APD, just because I don't know them that well yet. I also am cautious about telling a group, because if you tell a group they could easily talk amongst themselves about it or sometimes gang up. Now this has never happened directly, but I'm sure indirectly there were some questions they would be asking like, "Should we invite her?" "Should we repeat what we just said so she understands?" I feel like also if a whole group knows about it, my "wait what?" questions would be more likely to be ignored in a certain social settings.
Sometimes I think.... By telling them, maybe they will be more understanding, and understand then why I always "hear" differently, and ask a lot of questions.
But in reality, I won't know until I actually spill the beans. There is a 50/50 chance of it going the way I would want it to go. Stuff like this is hard to judge because people handle this topic differently. Some may be fine with it or kind of "whatever" about it. Some may be totally freaked out. Some may be happy I told them so they understand me better. Some may feel uncomfortable about it. It just depends on the person. I don't think I will tell the whole group at once if I decide to... I will only tell one or two of them, but I'm sure a few of them will stumble upon this blog, too which is good :-)
So this is my advice to all of you...
1. Make sure you can trust them with this information -- This includes making sure they do not have a big mouth and tell the whole world about what you have. APD can be interpreted very very differently especially if someone has know knowledge about it. A rumor like this could go very wrong in my opinion.
I've only told three of my friends here in college. I know they understand because they also have a learning disability so they can relate. Actually, one of them has Auditory Processing Disorder! I was SO excited to finally meet someone with the same learning disability as me!
2. Try not to tell a whole group of friends all at once about your learning disability. -- If there is one person in that group that you feel comfortable with telling, tell that friend when it is just the two of you. This way, when you are with the whole group, the friend that you told knows, so he/she might stick up for you and help you out. This avoids the whole group talking amongst themselves about it, but lets one person aware of your social struggles.
4. When you do tell someone, don't scare them. Bring it up when it comes up in conversation.
So I know your friend won't be talking about APD. That's not what I mean. But don't randomly be like, "Hey guess what? I have APD" This might scare them or make them feel uncomfortable about it. Try to ease it into your conversation with a friend. Maybe you two are talking about secrets, or maybe you are having a heart-to-heart conversation. This mood and time would be perfect. Here's a good way to start telling someone about your learning disability or any information you might have to tell: "So I've been meaning to tell you something because I trust you." This way they understand that you are relying on their trust, and it makes them feel good that you can trust them. This also indicates that you don't want it to be shared with others.
5. Don't expect them to understand everything about APD. This is probably the most important advice to remember. There is a lot that goes in to APD, In reality the only person who really understands APD is going to be you. You are the only one who knows what it is truly like and what is hard. Try not to rely on them to understand what it means. Just make sure they are there for you when you are having a hard time and need a friend.
---
Telling a friend about your learning disability can be a hard thing to do. If they are a true friend though, they will try to understand and be there for you when things get tough. I hope you found this blog helpful to you! As always, do not hesitate to ask any questions or comment!
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