It feels like I haven't blogged in forever because well.. I haven't! I've been getting all my stuff ready for college, getting last appointments in, and running my tail off for training for field hockey. You are all wondering how mentally I am preparing and feeling about college, right? Well there are a lot of feelings and metal preparation I have been doing, and would love to share with you!
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First off, I am ready for college. I never thought I would feel ready. When I was a 9th and 10th grader, college didn't even seem to make an appearance in my future. It seemed overwhelming and scary... especially with my learning challenge. Well, that's because I was only an underclassmen in high school. At the end of my junior year I was feeling much more college-ready, and by senior year I was totally ready to get out of there! I am ready to take the next step in my life and go off to college now.
I am excited for college. I'm excited to meet new friends. I'm excited to be a part of an automatic group of friends, my field hockey team. I'm excited to be independent. I'm excited that I picked such a beautiful school and area to live. I'm just excited for what lies ahead of me.
But I'm also scared. I'm scared I might get homesick and won't be able to go home when I want to go home (as Susquehanna is 10.5 hours away from home). I'm scared for the work load. I'm scared I'm not going to like my class schedule. I'm scared I might not understand a professor, or get along with a professor. I'm scared of feeling lonely. I'm scared I might fail.
And I am relieved. I am relieved I will have support out there. Support from a school counselor, my coach, and advisor. I am relieved my classes will have fewer people than there were at my high school. I am relieved I have already made friends with my field hockey team. I am relieved Susquehanna has allowed my 504 plan to transfer over with them.
So those are all my feelings about going to school.
This is how I am preparing myself for school knowing I have those feelings.
First off, I am going to have fears about school, and I will have unwanted feelings like being lonely come up. I have to let them happen because I really can't ignore my emotions. No one can. On the bright side, I can control most of those fears like the fear of failing, and not understanding a professor. I have ultimate control over those fears because I have tools of good study techniques, and I know I how to be an advocate if I don't understand a professor. So I can avoid those fears. As far as my fear of feeling homesick goes, I don't know if I actually will get homesick. I may LOVE being there 24/7, so that fear is one that may or may not actually happen.
Second, I am already preparing myself that I am going to have loads of homework and studying to do. It's college. I will have to battle through it if I don't want to fail. I can complain as much as I want, but it won't go away by complaining and avoiding. I'm just going to have to get-her-done!
I also know I am going to be completely independent and will have to advocate for myself when it comes to school. I'm in total control of going in to ask questions from a professor if I don't understand. No one else can advocate for me now. Just me. No parents, no guidance counselors, and no past teachers who really liked me! Yikes. Scary. But I can do it.
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So that is how I am prepping myself for the next chapter in my life. The college life.
